Oh. Dear.

Well, it's been eight months since September and five months since I've posted to the blog. I'll get right to it. The big news: we have reconnected our cable. Yes, it's back. Don't judge us.

We reconnected for a multitude of reasons...mostly that our daughter was getting deathly bored of watching the same ten DVDs over and over again. And because I realized that the only way to get my child to physically STOP MOVING is to put her in front of the television. She can be so exhausted that her eyes are crossing, but she won't sit still and rest for more than one minute anywhere except in front of the television. So, we reconnected and got DVR and our recordings look like we must run a nursery school for television-addicted children. On our recordings list: Dragon Tales, Charlie and Lola, Peep and the Big Wide World (GREAT show), Little Einsteins, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Dora The Explorer, Bindi the Jungle Girl, Caillou, and Handy Manny. Phew. Oh, and we tape Grey's Anatomy. And the occasional baseball game or tennis match.

Okay, that's not all. We also bought a 40" HD TV. I KNOW! I KNOW! We go from having no signal and an old tube TV that we bought in 1999 to a ridiculously big high-definition job with more channels than we know what to do with. We're fans of extremes, as you can imagine. Either that, or we just decided that there's nothing wrong with relaxing in front of the television. And, truthfully, our seven month hiatus from television taught us that we didn't need it. We didn't miss it. So now we watch movies, sports, and Grey's Anatomy. Oh, and I like that show "Chimp Eden." That monkey man is hot. But we don't sit in front of the TV like we used to. It's almost like we weaned ourselves and now we don't feel the need for sitting in front of the television--it's not our natural relaxing place. But, really, isn't it okay if it is once in a while? Isn't it wise to just use everything judiciously? Is this what we learned from our disconnecting experiment? I guess so. And, sadly, we learned that we couldn't parent our child and stay sane without a healthily stocked television arsenal. I wish that weren't the case, but when a four-year-old gets tired and mad and cranky, and the one-year-old is sick and the dog is barking and dinner is boiling over, twenty minutes of Peep and The Big Wide World doesn't look so sinister after all.

We're glad we did it. But we're also glad to be reconnected. We're watching less television, and honestly, I think what we do watch, we enjoy more. Ask me again in six months. I'll let you know.

Until then, PHASE TWO of the experiment BEGINS: A month of spending money on NOTHING BUT ESSENTIALS. Stay tuned.

The End of the Experiment?

First, Hi mom. Seems the only person that reads this blog is my mom. So. Hi.

I think that the experiment might be coming to an end. For a few reasons.

First, Rachel went over to a friend's house the other day to play and I told her friend's mom that if they got tired, she should feel free to have them watch some television. So they did, and on the way home in the car, Rachel said, "I want to go home and watch Dragon Tales!" I said (skirting around the fact that we don't have a Dragon Tales DVD), "Sure, you can watch TV!" But, my smart girl retorted with "No! I don't want to watch a VIDEO. I want to watch COMMERCIAL TELEVISION!" Keep in mind that this is a 3-year-old talking. Sitting at that stoplight, I suddenly saw the end of our televisionless life creeping in on us much faster than I'd anticipated.

Second, I missed the BCS Bowl. OSU lost miserably and all my friends and family said that it was better that I missed it, but sitting in my pin-drop quiet house with my baby daughter last night (big sister was out with daddy) absolutely SUCKED. I imagined the noise of the game, the whistles of the refs, and there I was, staring at a black screen because we have nothing but fuzz. And I found myself actually getting angry about the situation. I wanted to watch that game. I'd had a long day. I was exhausted. I'd worked from 7AM to 7PM and still wasn't done with my jobs, but I had to sit there in silence while the rest of the world got to drink a beer and watch OSU vs LSU. (At least that's how it felt.)

Third, I'm not convinced that we're really all that pure just because we don't have television. When I honestly look at how we spend our "down time" (those precious 1-2 hours that the kids are asleep and we're not comatose with fatigue), I'd say that 85% of the time now, we're on our computers. So one talking box has been replaced by another, really. Sure I might be communicating or writing while online, which is great, but often I'm just surfing. I'm shopping. I'm YouTubing. Is this somehow better for me than watching television?

Fourth, All television is not bad. I want to see the debates. I want to watch the Olympics (aren't they coming up?). I want to watch freaking football, people! (Of course the season is now over. Great.) What I don't want to watch now that I've officially broken my ties with TV, is reality television. It feels kind of 1984, freakishly doomsday to me now when I see it. Last night I was taking a late-night walk and I saw so many families sitting in their living rooms with the TV on some show where a person was doing some strange stunt in a huge pool or trying to lose the 200 pounds he/she'd gained while sitting on his/her ass watching television. Seems strange. But, not all television is this diabolical. Some of it's actually enlightening and inspiring and not just a waste of time. The key is to not waste away in front of the TV. The key, like with most things, is to use the television wisely and sparingly.

So I guess now I'm on a quest to try to convince my husband, who has become rather militantly anti-television, that we should reconnect. I think part of the reason he's not wanting a TV is because once he started talking to his colleagues about our decision to cut our cable, they all looked at him sideways like it wasn't a big deal because none of them have ever had cable. (He's a professor. That should explain a lot.) So I think he felt like he had finally figured out one of the big secrets of success in academia. I don't know. I could be wrong. But I want my TV back. And my daughter wants to watch Dragon Tales. Enough said.

Bye mom. I'll call you later. XO

December is a day away...still no television

The September Experiment has become the September, October, November experiment. November was a bit trying for us because we missed some big football games and that sucked. But otherwise we're really liking not having television. We like that our kids never see us watching television. They still watch DVDs as a way to relax (read: get out of our hair for FIVE MINUTES) but when it comes to modeling, they're not seeing us vegging in front of the tv which is good.

Tonight my husband and I sat in front of the fireplace and lit candles and listened to music and talked before reading, surfing the web for a while. Would never have done that if the tv was on all night. So right now I'm really liking not having access to television.

Oh, and every time I go to the grocery store and see the headlines of magazines like Us and People, I feel more and more alienated from that bizarro world that is our weird celebrity/pop culture obsession. Who really gives a sh*t if Britney ran over some douchebag's toe? I mean, really. (And this is coming from a former People subscriber.) Let's talk about global warming. Let's talk about making less waste. Let's talk about literature--great new books that make your heart pound in your chest. Great new music! What about all the great music being made out there that no one hears because the marketing machine isn't behind them? Not to get all granola and crunchy, but it just seems like such a waste of our energy, and our brain cells, to spend time on topics such as whether Pam Anderson has had her implants removed and reinserted (again). It's just a waste. And the further I get away from the popular culture that spills from the television, the more clearly I see it as a warped, twisted marketing and slander machine.

Stepping off of soap box.

So life without television is treating us well. However (there is always a "however")--our computer and internet time is still pretty sky-high. At times it feels like we have our own little personal televisions now with our laptops. And if I think about not having a computer, I get a bit shaky and sweaty--like I'd really be cut off from the world then. I'd really feel utterly and totally OUT OF IT.

okay. bed time.

A tad bit remiss...

Yes, it's been over a month since I posted to this blog. Sorry. We still don't have cable. October 1st came and went without a hiccup. No twitching, no urges to call the cable company.

But we have noticed that we're really, really missing watching college football. Sports in general, really. We wish there was a kind of television where you could subscribe only to certain channels. We'd get the networks and ESPN. We are big Cal fans and when they were in contention for the #1 spot (long, long ago...so sad...), we wanted to watch the game so we dragged both kids down to our local pub with sattelite TV and a big screen. They had some stupid DirectTV thing that didn't actually have the channel we wanted. So we had two cranky children in a restaurant at 4PM and we sat there eating a ridiculously early dinner, all annoyed because we knew this very exciting games was happening only miles away and we were stuck in this bar with no access to the game. Would've liked to just sit at home, turn on the game, let the kids play while we watched.

So, there have been a few moments that we've really missed having television. And we've been tempted a few times to reconnect. But, as my husband says, we just don't have enough self-discipline.

But, interestingly, what is happening now is that we're spending almost all of our evenings on our laptops. Computers are like the new TV. In fact, I should sign off right now and play with my kids instead of writing this.

So, does anyone know of a service that will allow us to just order a few channels? Like only about 5? (Instead of 500?) If so, add a comment and we'll check it out.

TV time suck: A Scientific Analysis

(If this is your first time reading this blog, start reading from the bottom. September 2nd's entry.)

Let's be honest. My husband and I are dorks. And tonight after we put the girls to bed, he sat at our kitchen table and built a spreadsheet with how much time per day/month/year one might lose watching TV. Check this out.

If we assume this individual is awake for 17 hours per day, here's the low-down on time sat on his/her ass in front of the talking box.

If you watch 1 hour of TV a day, you are watching 7 hours a week & 365 hours a year which is 5.9% of your waking time which is a total of 15 days per year, which is equivalent to 2 weeks of your year lost to television watching.

If you watch 2 hours of TV a day, you are watching 14 hours a week & 730 hours a year which is 11.8% of your waking time which is a total of 30 days per year, which is equivalent to 1 month of your year lost to television watching.

If you watch 3 hours of TV a day, you are watching 21 hours a week & 1095 hours a year which is 17.7% of your waking time which is a total of 46 days per year, which is equivalent to 1.5 months of your year lost to television watching.

If you watch 4 hours of TV a day, you are watching 28 hours a week & 1460 hours a year which is 23.5% of your waking time which is a total of 61 days per year, which is equivalent to 2 months of your year lost to television watching.

If you watch 5 hours of TV a day, you are watching 35 hours a week & 1825 hours a year which is 29.4% of your waking time which is a total of 76 days per year, which is equivalent to 2.5 months of your year lost to television watching

If you watch 6 hours of TV a day, you need to bookmark this blog or start one of your own.

Thoughts on the Bad Day and the Other World

So much to say today. First, I'll address the last entry. I'd had a bad day, for sure. And I was exhausted and scared about how my daughter was acting. And the thing I wanted was a television. Isn't that strange? I realize that a lot of people escape through TV and it wasn't uncommon for me, after a bad day, to just turn on the TV and veg. But how did I feel when I was done? I felt numb. My problems weren't addressed--they were stuffed down and not discussed. I didn't connect with my spouse/family. I shut out the world and lived in another world for a temporary spell until I felt sufficiently satiated with otherness. Simply put, I practiced denial.

That night, I sat around feeling bad. I talked to my husband about it which helped a bit. I talked to my friend on the phone. It was her daughter that was the subject of the clobbering, and she was incredibly reassuring. Then I read a book, I think, but fell asleep within minutes. I went to bed at about 9. And I needed the sleep. The next day I felt so much better. Optimistic, even, that I could work with my daughter and address these problems. What would've happened if I'd just watched 2-3 hours of TV? I wouldn't have talked to my friend or my husband. I wouldn't have gotten rest. I would've been mildly entertained for a little bit, but I would have turned the television off feeling, as I usually did before the September Experiment, kind of used.

Still, I admit that I am not over my addiction. There have been moments these past few days that I've had a lull in activity (hard to believe with 2 small children in my house) and wondered what might be on TV. I've watched my favorite show on the computer. But I must admit that as I watched it, I was more acutely aware than ever that I was wasting time. Really wasting time--that dwindling commodity which is oh so precious to me as a mom of 2 young kids who take up 99% of mine.

What I'm discovering though, is the other world. There is another world out there. It's the world of my family and the word of writers. I've always been a reader, but reading honestly sat second-fiddle to TV watching. I'm a writer, too, (struggling, yes) but I admit that much of my understanding of plot and story arc comes from television watching. Someone at my MFA program once asked me how I managed to write stories with intense plots. (Or something like that. I was flattered but perhaps they were asking me why I'm such a drama-queen.) My answer was, "TV." It was an ambivalent answer, something I wasn't necessarily proud of admitting, but it's true. Anyway, this other world I talk of is unfolding in front of me so beautifully. Just this morning as our 3-year-old slept late (thank you!) my husband and I sat at our dining room table reading voraciously. I read Steve Almond's newest book (Called (Not That You Asked) It's BRILLIANT. Buy it.) And in it there's an incredible chapter about Kurt Vonnegut who "viewed film and television as enemies of human progress." And at the same moment Greg was reading an article about Al Gore in The New York Review of Books. Gore's book The Assault on Reason apparently suggests that "More and more people are trying to figure out what has gone wrong in our democracy..." And "He offers a list of explanations...More than any other public figure today, he fixes the blame on the power of television. His lament is not the standard one about the medium's superficiality. He argues that a discourse dominated by television--it is, he notes, now almost half a century since television replaced newspapers as Americans' chief sourse of information--inherently corrupts the Founders' notion of the reasoned deliberatoin in the civic forum that they judged essential to a republic's survival."

I think this same notion applies to the human family. If we're not talking because the television always is, how can we create a healthy discourse? Television is the obnoxious in-law that dominates the room, interrupts everyone mid-sentence, and won't shut up. Despite the fact that he brought yummy desserts to which I am still addicted, I'm glad we banished him.

Bad Day

Right now I want a TV. I spent the weekend at my grandfather's memorial and am feeling lonesome for family and worried about everyone. On top of that, today my daughter practically clobbered another kid going after a toy. She seems to have had a bad day at school but can't communicate what's really going on as she's only 3. But clearly she's really troubled right now and acting out big time and I don't have the faintest idea how to handle it. I'm realizing (again) that I have no idea what I'm doing as a parent. I called my brother and said, "Why does it feel like it's only my kid doing these things?" He said that everyone feels that way and every kid does stuff like this as they grow up. It felt so good to hear that. But I'm thinking that my more gentle approach to parenting & discipline isn't working and so it's time (again) to change course. Will I ever figure it out? I know, I know, no one ever does...but it still feels crummy to have a kid who is a big fat jerk sometimes.

So right now I could use a telelvision to feel less isloated, less frustrated, less raw. I want to escape. I want to sit in front of the talking box and forget. Instead I guess I'll do dishes and go to bed. Maybe I'll sign up with Netflix first and order some movies.